Party Recap

The birthday party was yesterday. It actually went over really well. I was torn about who to invite – it could have been tiny or HUGE – I wanted the invite list to be somewhere in the middle. I decided to invite family (duh) and friends. But what friends do you invite? Facebook friends, friends from a specific place, or friends friends? I really agonized over this decision and went back and forth for awhile. I didn’t want to hurt feelings, but I didn’t want to huge party either. I decided I would invite people that I had a play date with or interacted with in more than one place. Like my friends from yoga that I also hike with. Or my friends from my birth class that I have play dates with now. Unfortunately this meant some of my friends that I haven’t had the chance to hang out with didn’t get an invite. And I sent invites out like 6 weeks ago, so my newer friends weren’t on the list. I know the birthday invite politics just get more crazy as the kids age, so this is an aspect I’m really not looking forward to. It was stressful enough for the first birthday party!

The theme was something that everyone was curious about. Since Remy loves ribs we knew we had to have ribs as the main entree of the party, so we decided on a cowboy theme. The party decorations kind of snowballed. I ordered a John Wayne cardboard cutout for a photo booth, which was really fun! I also made a bunting the displayed a photo from each month which turned out really, really cute. And my awesome mom and dad came down the night before the party to help out – they got tasked with making the bibdanas I procrastinated on.

Family photo

Family photo

Mmm...ribs!

Mmm…ribs!

Birthday Bunting

Birthday Bunting

Birthday Bunting Closeup

Birthday Bunting Closeup

Remy in his bibdana

Remy in his bibdana

Me and OccDoc

Me and OccDoc

We asked guests of the party to bring a teddy bear or stuffed animal for donation to a local foster agency. I just about cried at the response. I’m so grateful for my friends’ generosity.

Stuffed animals collected for donation

Stuffed animals collected for donation

The food turned out really good. The ribs and corn bread muffins we had catered in, but I made most everything else. I love cooking, so it was fun to do the party prep. I made mango salsa, cowboy caviar (tomatoes, avocados, black beans, corn, onion, cilantro, and lime juice), mac and cheese with spinach, my favorite quinoa salad from WF, my mom brought some baked beans, and a spinach and strawberry salad topped with goat cheese. I just realized I forgot to put out salad dressing. Oops, sorry friends! I couldn’t have been happier with how the food turned out. I ordered a carrot cake for the party, but made Remy a modified French yogurt cake. Yum!  Did I get a photo of the cake I made? Um, no.

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday to Remy

Yeah, so a year has passed since Remy was born. The fastest and slowest year of our lives. Weird how that works.

From crabby newborn to smiling toddler

From crabby newborn to smiling toddler

This week I’m busy getting things together for Remy’s birthday party on Sunday. We decided to repurpose the empty bunny area in the family room to a play area for Remy. I’m hoping it will be done, so he can play with his new toys in his new play area on his birthday. Photos forthcoming.

I do feel like kind of a slacker in regards to Remy’s party. I haven’t even been on Pinterest trolling for ideas. Gasp! Low key, lots of friends, yummy food, and John Wayne – no Pinterest needed for that. :) I’ll be sure to take some photos to do a recap about it – just in case you want to pin something. LOL!

Happy First Birthday to my little guy!

Loss Averse

I’m not sure if being loss averse is a thing, but if it is I have it.  We’ve been thinking a lot about adding to our family, as we know an only child is not the end of our family building. Plus, Remy is so happy when he’s around other kids. Not that we’re going to build our family just because it would make our son happy, but it’s a perk.

I saw something on Facebook that hit me hard this weekend. A friend had liked a status of a local doula. I know the doula so I was curious. The status talked about how 16 years ago the doula almost gave up her daughter for adoption, but a midwife offered a home birth for free in hopes the pregnant doula would keep the baby. The doula was reflecting and saying the decision to keep her daughter was the best decision of her life. And, yes, to keep a child and protect them from experiencing a loss of their birth family on the first day of their life is laudable, but my thoughts kept drifting to that perspective adoptive family. It’s so easy for me to put myself in their shoes. To think what another loss would feel like. And thus the downward spiral. Sure, it’s selfish to think this way, but I’ve never claimed otherwise.

My thought spiral drifted to the losses we’ve experienced. All those failed fertility cycles. The 6 embryos that were growing well when we transferred then died. The lone embryo that never survived the defrost. It still makes me sad. I’m not totally devastated now that I’m over a year removed from the losses, but it’s hard thing to deal with. And I know people aren’t trying to pick at my healing wounds when they ask if we’re trying again. No, we’ll never be trying again since we know that wouldn’t really count as ‘trying’ since we won’t get anywhere with it.

We’ve pretty much decided that doing more fertility treatments is not a route we can handle. Again, maybe if the first IUI or IVF cycle had done the trick we’d be singing a different tune, but we had loss after loss and I can’t go through that again. Infant adoption has been floated around for a while, but again my loss averseness rears its head and I can’t bear to think about losing a child when the birth family changes their mind. Maybe it’s just my pessimism, but that’s where my thoughts go.

OccDoc and I are just about to put our toes in the family building water in a few weeks. We didn’t want to do anything until Remy turned one – which is in less than two weeks. When we talk about our decision (which I’ll share once I post all about Remy’s birthday party, a rib theme) I get those annoying butterflies in my stomach. I can’t help but be excited. There is a little piece of me that wants to hold back and reign in the excitement to protect myself, but I feel like this is how I should feel. This is what it feels like to think about adding to a family and to not be mired down previous losses.

And here's a cute photo of Remy that has nothing to do with this post

And here’s a cute photo of Remy that has nothing to do with this post

Anyway, Remy is taking a long, unexpected morning nap (of course and we’re out of coffee so I can’t even run out to get some) and I was extra productive already. I painted my front door and finished prepping the surface of my painting Everest – the giant built-in. All before 8 in the morning, so I thought I’d reward myself with a little blog post to get this shit off my mind. You’re welcome, self.